Song 13: Bonus Track 1: B4 I knew I’m Him

Yeah don't even know

Where to begin

Something like this shit man

Just going to fucking

Pour my heart out

Its been a heavy day

For real yeah

That first book I wrote stands true

And the other one was a cover

To hide the fact

That these feelings for you

Won't ever be true for another

I remember when we shared a bed

And I was too afraid

To touch her

Haven't spoke after I did choke

Even though we were never together

I don't know what to do

And I'm afraid

That I will always love her

Which sucks cause I know

That the man up stairs

Was hoping I'd rise above her

But man I just can't help

But fucking love her

And I just want her to know

That I swear to God

That I'm way better

I'm not sure how to apologize

For losing my mind

But I guess

That God has his plans

But I really wish

That she could understand

That no other man

Would stand in hell

For this shit like I have

It's been too many years

But like I said

I'd wait a thousand more

Just for you to hear

How deeply for you I feel

They say that time

Is supposed to heal

The only thing changing is my heart

That's slowly turning into steal

Sorry if this one gets

A little to fucking real

Yeah its the truth

You see my hearts

To heavy to hold

And to hard to crack now

Can't even remember

The sound of her laugh now

I blocked her out of my thoughts

Because I know

We can never go back now

And I can't stomach

How badly I want that now

Yeah yeah yeah

They say if you love something

To let it go

How hard I tried

The Lord only knows

So I pen down my heart's woes

With this effortless flow

Cause this shit the only thing

That's helping me cope

I won't lie

Suicide has always been

On my mind

Even before we met

But don't worry

I'm not willing to put

The ones I love

Through that shit yet

Cause I know what it feels like

To lose the ones

I will never forget

Just saying how I feel

Hope my therapist doesn't take

This shit as a threat

And that these words don't cause

These demons to smell weakness

And no longer rest

Girl I guess

What I'm trying to say

Is that when I think

About yesterday

All I think about

Are the reasons for why

And how far I came

I wish you knew how much

Of me is not the same

And how I know

I'm the one to blame

For loosing my twin flame

As much as that shit

Sounds a little gay

And when I consider

How I never really cared

About myself

Why you never did either

Isn't leaving me with any doubts

I guess it makes sense

Why you left

And I had to go

Figure my shit out

Took so long to seek help

But I swear that's not

What this song's about

Don't know why but I remember

November 10th is your birthday

Probably out of ten

I'd still rate you the same like

A-Lang-u-age more beautiful

Than my words could ever convey

I remember when my God

Called me by name

No one will ever believe that

Especially because afterwards

It caused me to go insane

But as I said before

In a poem

That you probably don't remember

God's going to have to wait

Because for you

My soul would surrender

I salted my wounds

Its no wonder

Why they still feel so tender

Guess its hard for me

To put the love out

I still have left

In this fucking ember